Calming the Chaos in the Holiday
The holidays bring about a lot of fun, happiness, emotion and yes some chaos. Calm and chaos don’t typically go together. Calm is often seen as the opposite of chaos. But we don’t need to surrender to the chaos or let it steal the joy from the season.
We often internalize the idea that everything must be perfect and Pinterest-worthy. But why? Why do we set such high expectations for ourselves? While some people genuinely enjoy crafting magazine-worthy tablescapes and intricately decorated cookies that doesn’t mean everyone needs to strive for that. There’s nothing calming about an expectation that only adds pressure and stress.
Let go of obligations that drain you
You don’t need to cook everything for a meal. It’s okay, truly to ask for help. Many of your guests would happily contribute and may have even offered. Take them up on it. It will lighten your load and help others feel invested in the shared experience.
Give yourself permission to opt out
You are allowed to decline invitations or events that feel like too much. You don’t need a detailed explanation, excuse, or justification. A simple, “Thanks so much for the invitation, but I won’t be able to make it,” is enough. Protecting your peace is valid.
Create pockets of calm
Even in a packed day or crowded gathering, you can carve out your own calm:
• Step away for a quiet breathing break
• Take a 3-minute breath reset to slow your heart rate
• Walk outside around the block or simply into the backyard
• Slip into the bathroom for a moment of solitude
You don’t need to hold emotional space for everyone—or fix anything or anyone.
Prioritize what matters to you
Ask yourself: If I could only choose three things to focus on this holiday season, what would they be?
Chances are, they’re connected to:
• meaningful connection
• personal rest
• emotionally nourishing experiences
Build moments that feed your spirit: reading a book, journaling, watching a comforting movie, calling a friend. Whatever brings you peace of mind is worth prioritizing.
Your goal isn’t to produce a flawless holiday your goal is to actually enjoy it.
Chaos may still exist around you, but you can cultivate an inner calm that steadies you. May you move through this season with more gentleness, more breathing room, and more presence—creating positive memories to carry into the new year.
About the Author
Cindy Wallace, LCMHCS, is a licensed therapist and founder of Carolina Wellness Online Therapy. She helps adults navigate stress, anxiety, and life transitions with clarity and compassion.
